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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26176336">How You Feel in the Dark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sovvannight/pseuds/sovvannight'>sovvannight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Allison, I Love You [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Wolf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad first experiences, F/F, Masturbation, POV Lydia Martin, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Toys, Who Knows?, although she's not thinking of it that way, anxiety about sex, are there even werewolves?, is this an AU or canon divergence?, it's not plot-relevant, not to imply that there's a plot here, she just wants to help her friend, technically Lydia is cheating on Jackson here</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:15:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,126</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26176336</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sovvannight/pseuds/sovvannight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Allison’s first time didn’t go well, and now she has some anxiety about sex.  Lydia wants to help her new best friend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Allison Argent/Lydia Martin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Allison, I Love You [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How You Feel in the Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a Friday night, and Lydia was having Allison over for a sleepover.  She bustled around the living area, straightening piles of magazines, wondering about Allison’s taste in movies and whether she’d want to drink, and if so what.  She hadn’t hosted a sleepover since middle school, but this would be fun, right? </p><p>Her mom was out on date number three with an orthodontist from Redding and Lydia did not expect her home until morning, so they’d have the house to themselves.  Jackson was hanging out with Danny tonight, and Scott and Allison were still at the ‘smile shyly at each other in the hallways’ phase—he hadn’t asked her out yet. </p><p>She was feeling surprisingly nervous by the time the doorbell rang.  It was Allison, of course, with a duffel bag slung over one shoulder and holding a paper bag in the other.  “Hey!  I stopped at La Boulangerie—I thought no sleepover would be complete without junk food, but I didn’t know what your favorites are so I got a little of everything, cupcakes, eclairs, and macarons.  And croissants for tomorrow morning, regular and chocolate.”</p><p>Lydia grinned.  “Sounds fattening:  I love it!”  She ushered her in and shut the door.  “I was thinking we could have Chinese delivered, but maybe we should make salads instead to balance out the sugar?”</p><p>“Oh, Chinese, definitely,” Allison said.</p><p>Two hours later, Lydia had put away the leftover takeout and was mixing their third round of cocktails while Allison picked the next movie from Lydia’s collection of DVDs and Blu-rays.  She brought the drinks out to the den to find her friend holding two movies.  “What do you think?” she asked, holding them both up.  “<em>Limits of Fire</em> or <em>Senior Prom</em>?”</p><p>Lydia considered the movies.  “Well, <em>Limits of Fire</em> is more melodramatic, and <em>Senior Prom</em> is funnier.  <em>Limits of Fire</em> has Diana Francis, who’s just such a boss.  <em>Senior Prom</em> has Matthew Steele, who, wow, those eyes—”</p><p>“Yeah,” Allison said dreamily.  “OK, let’s do that.  I’ve never seen it!”</p><p>Lydia popped the movie in and they settled back with their drinks and desserts.  A half-hour in, she noticed Allison was peeking at the movie around the edge of a pillow like they were watching a horror flick instead of a teen romcom.  She paused it, and Allison lowered the pillow, revealing flushed cheeks.  Lydia asked, “You OK?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I be?”  Her voice was higher-pitched than normal, and her gaze dropped to the floor.</p><p>“Are you-  Is the movie embarrassing you?  I know they’re talking about sex a lot, but I didn’t think that would bother you.”</p><p>“Not embarrassing me, more…bringing back bad memories.  Noelle and Keith remind me so much of me and my ex at my last school’s homecoming a few months ago.  We…we had sex, and it was so awkward, and it hurt, and I ended up breaking up with him a few weeks after that night because he wanted to do it again and I didn’t.” </p><p>She started speaking faster and gesticulating as she continued, “And now I’ve met Scott, and I think he’s really cute and it seems like maybe he likes me, but what if sex ends up disappointing me again?  I think there’s something wrong with me!”  She threw herself back against the couch, hanging her head over the back as she shut her eyes.</p><p>Lydia tried to reassure her.  “Allison, I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with you.  Were you a virgin?”</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>“And was he?”</p><p>“Yeah, but—”</p><p>Lydia huffed.  “Well, there’s your problem!  First times are never all that great, but first times when you’re both virgins—ugh!  Guys whose only knowledge of sex comes from porn just aren’t good at foreplay.  Not that experienced guys are <em>that</em> much better—a teen boy is still a teen boy, but at least they have some sense of being considerate.”</p><p>“OK, but, say that’s true—I get the impression that Scott hasn’t dated much.  He’s awkward and shy and it’s adorable, it really is, but whenever I’m with him a voice in the back of my head says that it’s just going to end in tears, and with me feeling even worse about myself.”</p><p>“Well…if you really do like him, then you just need to be prepared to be vocal about what you like.  Do you think he would be open to direction?”</p><p>Allison’s face got even redder, which Lydia wouldn’t have thought possible.  “Oh my god, Lydia!  I can’t believe we’re discussing this!”</p><p>Lydia replied, “Girls have to stick together.  Sex can be great—is it wrong that I want that for my friend?”  As Allison shook her head in amusement, she continued, “I’m not saying you should bark orders at him, I’m just saying, a little encouragement at the right moment may work wonders, and there are ways to do it without breaking the mood.  I can tell Jackson”— she made her voice breathy— “ ‘Ooh, I love it when you do X,’ or ‘All day I’ve been fantasizing about you doing Y’ and he’ll usually go along with it.  Flatter his ego, right?”</p><p>“OK, so say I can do that with a straight face in the…heat of the moment.  What do I ask for?”</p><p>“Uh…do you not know what you like?”</p><p>“How would I know that?”</p><p>That gave Lydia pause.  “Allison, have you not had any good experiences with guys?  What about with your ex, before that night?  Or other guys?”</p><p>“There wasn’t a lot of ‘before’ times.  We move around so much, when Alex started paying attention to me I just kind of jumped into it, because what if I waited and then we had to move again?”</p><p>“Well, since you’re already thoroughly embarrassed, I’ll ask the next question:  what about when you touch yourself?”</p><p>Allison pressed the pillow against her face again.  “Um, showerhead?” she muttered.</p><p>“Well, that doesn’t help much, although I’m glad that at least you’ve had an orgasm before.  Wait!”  Lydia straightened with a smile.  “I have something that might help!  Come with me.”  She led the way out of the den, stumbling a little as she rounded the corner to the stairs and realizing she might’ve made that last drink a bit stronger than she’d intended. </p><p>As she slowed down to climb the stairs at a safer pace, Allison asked, “So what do you think can help me?  Is it, like, a book with advice or something?”</p><p>“Or something,” Lydia agreed as she entered her bedroom and flipped on the light.  “Now what did I do with it?  This was right before Christmas…closet, maybe?”  She walked into her large closet and started looking around.  “Jackson’s parents were taking him on a ski trip for most of winter break, so I thought I deserved a treat, something to entertain myself with, but when it came it was just too small for me so I never used—there it is, can you reach it?”  She pointed to a small cardboard box sitting haphazardly toward the back of one of the shelves lining the top of the closet.</p><p>Allison leaned up on tiptoes but couldn’t reach, so she unhooked an empty hanger and used it to bat the box down.  Lydia caught it and carried it out to her desk.  “Behold,” she said as she slipped a finger underneath the single piece of tape she’d used to close the box back up.  “The Flame!”  She flipped the top flaps of the box open to reveal a dildo, still in its clamshell packaging, its colors shading from red at the base to golden yellow at the head.</p><p>“Oh my god!  Lydia!”</p><p>“If you want to know what you like so you can know what to ask for, wouldn’t it make sense to do some research?”</p><p>“I can’t do that!”</p><p>“Why not?  Do you really think Scott doesn’t masturbate?”</p><p>Allison frowned.  “Well, no, I’m not that naïve.”</p><p>“Obviously you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, I just think it might help you feel more comfortable.”</p><p>“You really think that’s too small?”  Allison bit her lip as she contemplated the dildo.</p><p>“For me, yeah, but for someone who’s not very experienced, it’s perfect.  Do you want to open it up?”  She pulled scissors from the desk’s top drawer and handed them to Allison.  She hesitated, then slowly picked up the toy and cut around two sides of the packaging.</p><p>She reached inside and pulled it out of the clamshell.  “Oh, it’s firmer than I thought it would be.”  She gave it an experimental squeeze and giggled nervously.</p><p>“Do you want to try it out?  We should wash it first, but I have plenty of condoms.”</p><p>“What, now?”</p><p>“No time like the present,” Lydia said briskly.  “My mom won’t be home tonight, so you’d have privacy.  If you’re like me you’re still a little buzzed, which might help you relax.  I say go for it!  You can use the guest bedroom across the hall if you’d like.”</p><p>“Uh…OK.”  The words were hushed, but when Lydia looked up the set of Allison’s features was determined. </p><p>Which made her laugh.  “Relax—you’re not riding into battle.  You’re just having an orgasm.  C’mon.”  She grabbed a condom from her nightstand before leading Allison over to the guest bedroom across the hall, which she’d nicknamed ‘The Queen’s Room’ based on her mother’s ridiculous decorating whims. </p><p>She flipped on the overhead light but frowned at the brightness, so she moved over to the lamp on the far side of the room, turned it on, then flipped the overhead back off.  The warm, dimmer light illuminated the high four-poster bed with its brocade comforter and a plethora of coordinating pillows.  “That’s better—mood lighting.  Do you want to change into your pajamas?”</p><p>“Yeah, let me just…go get my bag.” </p><p>She looked around the room, and Lydia guessed she was looking for someplace to set down the dildo.  “Hand it over—I’ll wash it for you.”</p><p>Lydia used the attached guest bathroom to wash and dry the dildo before rolling on the condom and setting it down on the closer nightstand on its flared base.  She felt a sense of satisfaction that she was helping her new friend with this issue.  Sex could feel so good, it was a shame when a fumbling partner ruined the experience.</p><p>Allison walked back in, one hand carrying her duffel bag, the other clutching the bottle of rum Lydia had left out after mixing their last round of drinks.  She took a swig and handed the bottle over.  “Here, take this away from me before I’m completely plastered.”</p><p>“Hey, listen, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”</p><p>“No, I want to.  I’m tired of being intimidated by this.  I want to know what it feels like when it feels good.  And I want to have confidence that it will be good with Scott, or whoever my second is.”</p><p>“My room’s across the hall.  I’m going to go change, too, and start my nighttime skin routine.  Yell if you need me.”  Lydia stepped out into the hallway, shut the door behind her, and went into her own bedroom.</p><p>She rushed through changing into her pajamas, feeling weirdly unsettled all of a sudden.  It was just—odd—to think about someone masturbating nearby.  She shouldn’t be thinking about it at all, really.  She brushed fingers against her cheek—was she <em>blushing</em>?</p><p>After having a swallow of the rum, because it seemed she needed to relax as well, she was headed toward her bathroom to remove her makeup when there was a light knock on her bedroom door.</p><p>“It didn’t work,” Allison said flatly when Lydia opened the door.  “Look, this was-  Clearly there’s something wrong with me after all, and I—”</p><p>“Allison!” Lydia interrupted.  “If you already tried to use the toy, I can tell you: that was <em>not</em> enough time spent on foreplay!  The whole point of this exercise was to treat yourself better than some careless teenage boy who only wants to get off and doesn’t care about your enjoyment.  C’mon.” </p><p>She tugged at Allison’s arm to get to her to turn around and then gave her a little push to head back across the hall.  Allison sighed, but walked forward into the guest room. </p><p>“Hop up onto the bed.  Did I show you where the steps are?”  Lydia hooked a foot around the carved, wooden set of two steps that guests could use to get into the high bed.  “I don’t know what my mother was thinking when she went all medieval with the last redecoration, but whatever.  I’m going to sit…over there.”</p><p>Lydia walked around the bed as Allison skipped the steps and launched herself onto the bed.  She sat down cross-legged on the carpet and slumped down a little, satisfied that her head probably wasn’t visible over the high edge of the mattress.</p><p>A quiet voice from the bed asked, “Now what?”</p><p>“Take a few deep breaths first, and try to relax.”  Lydia followed her own advice as she stared at the wall and thought about what to suggest next.  “I think…touch your breasts.  That’s probably where Scott will start.  Uh…”  She held her hands up in front of her chest.  “Just cup them in your hands.  Don’t squeeze too hard.  You want to be gentle.  And Scott should be, too.  Uh, move your hands a little.  Your palms should be rubbing over your nipples.  Just lightly, though.”</p><p>She sat in the near-dark and listened to the sound of fabric rustling.  “Are your nipples getting hard?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Allison said hoarsely.</p><p>“Good.  Don’t focus all of your attention there, though.  I like, um—”  Lydia touched her own chest experimentally.  “The inner curve, I guess?  Where they separate in the middle of my chest.  And the underside—run your fingers along there.”</p><p>Allison made a sound, a little <em>mmm</em> of appreciation, and it made Lydia smile.  “Go under your top, too.  Feel the difference in sensation between skin on skin and when there’s fabric in between.  Uh, there are things that Scott can do that you can’t really mimic, licking and sucking, but you can lick your fingers and then touch yourself and get a little taste of what that’s like.”</p><p>After a few moments, Allison said, “I’m not really sure I like that—the wet thing.  It’s weird.”</p><p>“It’s OK if you don’t.  That’s the point of this little exercise.  It’s different with a partner, obviously.  Part of the experience is…he’s looking up at you, and his cheeks are flushed, his eyes are dilated, he’s breathing heavier…you can tell how much he wants you, and it’s a turn-on.”</p><p>“I’m ready, I think.”</p><p>Lydia laughed.  “Oh, no, not yet.  You need to be desperate.  On the edge.  You can touch your clit now, though.”</p><p>“Oh, thanks for the permission!” Allison said, sounding amused.  “…Alright, my hands are in my pants.  Now what?”</p><p>“Run your index finger over your clit.  Lightly.”  When Allison gasped, Lydia asked, “Good?  Or too much?”</p><p>“What if it’s too much?”  Allison sounded strained, tense.</p><p>Lydia was quick to reassure her.  “That’s fine.  There are plenty of other things you can do.  I like, um, circling around my clit, and kind of pressing on either side, both of which you can do without actually touching it.  But try touching, well, everywhere—you’ve got a lot of nerve endings down there, might as well put them to good use.”</p><p>Listening to Allison’s breathing getting heavier, Lydia finally admitted to herself that she was getting turned on by what they were doing.  Her hands itched to follow the instructions she was giving Allison, but that would be wrong, wouldn’t it?  This was about helping a friend, not about getting off herself.</p><p>“Are you getting wet?”  It came out harsher than Lydia intended.  “Sorry.  No pressure if you’re not, I just wondered.”</p><p>“Yeah.  Yeah, I am.  Wow!”  She laughed a little, then groaned.  “Oh!  I…the same move that was too much a minute ago feels good now.  Oh, I think I’m really ready now!”</p><p>“Try a finger, then.”</p><p>“What, inside?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“It feels…OK.”</p><p>“Doesn’t feel like much of anything, right?”</p><p>Allison laughed again.  “Oh, that’s what it’s supposed to feel like?  It doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t-  I like some of the other things I’ve done more.”</p><p>“You have more nerve endings on the outside than inside.”  Lydia heard herself slip into teacher mode, but figured that was probably for the best—easier to be detached that way.  “And for myself, my fingers are on the short side, so there are spots I liked touched that I can’t reach myself.  Um, if that’s comfortable, try adding a second finger.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“Good ‘hmm’ or bad ‘hmm?’  If you’re comfortable with two fingers, try pulling them part of the way out and pushing back in.  Gently, though, and not too quickly.”</p><p>“OK.  Um, it’s still not really…it doesn’t hurt, though.  If I was having sex with Scott and it felt like this it would be a 100% improvement over my first time.  Maybe 1,000%.  It’s really not bad!”</p><p>Lydia smiled at the relief in her friend’s voice.  “That’s good.  And how do you feel, otherwise?  Is your heart pounding?  You don’t sound too out-of-breath.  Do you feel flushed?  Shaky?”</p><p>“My heart’s definitely pounding harder.  I’d say no to the rest, though.”</p><p>“Keep going, then.  Go back to your chest with your other hand.  Try to get into a rhythm.”  She listened to rustling as Allison followed her directions.  In the near silence of the room, she could hear when Allison started breathing a little heavier.  After hearing her gasp, Lydia said, “Stop!”</p><p>“Are you kidding me?” Allison breathed out.</p><p>“What about now?  Is your heart pounding?  Do you feel—”</p><p>“—Like I’m about 10 seconds away from an orgasm?  Yeah, I do, so—”</p><p>“—So, <em>now</em> you’re ready for the toy.”</p><p>“Oh.”  There was a pause, and then a drawn-out, “<em>Oh</em>!  Yeah, OK, um…”  There was dead silence for a moment, and then Allison said, “I’m still nervous about it.”</p><p>Before she could stop to think, Lydia said, “Do you want me to do it?”  And then she grimaced, because that was taking things a step too far, wasn’t it?</p><p>Allison stammered, “I-  Would you?  It’s too much to ask, I mean, it’s weird…”</p><p>“Not at all,” Lydia replied, relieved that she wasn’t overstepping.  She stood up, carefully looking at the floor rather than at the bed.  “I can do it without looking, mostly.  Give you as much privacy as possible.  And if you want to take over, just tell me.” </p><p>She found the steps on her side of the bed and pulled them out with her foot.  After glancing quickly in Allison’s direction, she crawled over to where her friend was still lying on the far side of the bed with her knees bent and her feet flat on the mattress.  Still clothed, she noticed with relief, other than her sleep shorts having an untied drawstring at the waist and being slid down her hips a few inches.</p><p>Allison asked, “Do I need to take the shorts off?”  So they were thinking the same thing, apparently.</p><p>“I don’t think so.  I should be able to, uh, reach in.”  Lydia scooted closer until she was right next to Allison.  She angled herself so that her left hand was closer to Allison’s body, which meant partially turning away.  More privacy for Allison, so that was perfect.  “Hand me the toy?”</p><p>She grabbed the dildo from the nightstand and handed it to Lydia.  “Uh, what should I be doing?  Do I just lie here?”</p><p>“Hands back on your tits, let’s say.  Just to keep yourself busy, and for a little extra push.  I’m going to, uh, reach in now.”  She gripped the toy toward the middle of the shaft, because she knew she wouldn’t be inserting much length to begin with, then lifted the waistband of the shorts up and slid the toy underneath.</p><p>Lydia immediately realized that she was going to have to touch Allison a little to guide the dildo into place.  She dipped one finger down, gratified to find her quite wet, glancing back at Allison when she squeaked.  “Sorry.”</p><p>“It’s OK, I was just startled,” Allison replied breathlessly.</p><p>“I’m going to press in, just a little, OK?”  When Allison nodded, Lydia did as she’d said, pushing in ever-so-slightly.  She left it in for a moment, then pulled out.</p><p>“That’s it?”  Allison sounded disappointed, Lydia was pleased to hear.</p><p>“Be patient,” she replied with a smile.  She repeated the motion several times, adding a little twist each time she pulled out, one of her favorite moves when she used a toy on herself.</p><p>On the next push, she slid the toy in a bit further, so that the entire head was inside.  As before, she left it in for a moment to let Allison adjust, pulled it out with a twist, and slowly pushed it back in to the same depth several times.</p><p>Lydia repeated the pattern, inching the dildo in slowly until she needed to adjust her grip.  She’d been sneaking glances at Allison out of the corner of her eye and she seemed OK, breathing deeply with her eyes shut.  “Halfway there,” she said.  “OK so far?”</p><p>“Yeah.  Yeah, keep going,” Allison said without opening her eyes, then added, “Please,” with a flash of her dimples.</p><p>Lydia shifted her grip further up the toy’s shaft and went back to her slow penetration.  At this point, even when she withdrew the toy she didn’t pull it all the way out.  She tried to stick with gentle motions but sped up slightly.</p><p>Finally, she had to switch to gripping the base instead of the shaft, and on the next push inward the toy penetrated as far as it would go.  Lydia placed her palm on the bottom of the base and held it in place.  “And it’s all the way in.  Any pain or discomfort?”</p><p>“No.”  Allison was beaming and let out a sigh of relief.  “It feels- I feel a little…full, maybe?  But it’s not painful at all!”</p><p>“Good!  I’m going to try some different moves next.  Let me know if there’s anything in particular you like.  Or don’t like, of course.”</p><p>Allison said, “Good practice for being more assertive with Scott?”</p><p>It jolted Lydia a little—she’d forgotten the underlying goal of this little exercise, but she replied, “Right,” regardless.  It was good to get that reminder, though, that she shouldn’t get off-track.</p><p>Lydia started moving the dildo, short, shallow strokes to begin with, barely more than a wiggle.  She could see the tension slowly ebbing from Allison’s body—her forehead smoothing out from its frown, fingers untangling from the sheets she’d been gripping.</p><p>She tried slightly larger movements, still keeping to an easy pace, and then deep but slow strokes where she pulled as far out as she could manage and then back in, very slowly.</p><p>After a few moments, she noticed Allison was frowning again.  “Should it be taking this long?  It doesn’t take me this long in the shower.”  She was blushing, which Lydia found endearing.</p><p>“It will take longer because you have fewer nerve endings internally.  Honestly, Jackson usually reaches between us and touches my clit when he’s getting close himself so that I come first.  He’s considerate that way.  I’ve come just from, uh, penetration, but usually we don’t have the patience for it.  And that’s OK!  As long as you and your partner both orgasm, don’t put some weird Freudian pressure on yourself to say that you have to enjoy one thing over another.”</p><p>“Freud?”</p><p>“Yeah, he had some weird ideas about sex.  Weird ideas about a lot of things, to be honest.  But maybe this isn’t the right time for a psychology lecture,” Lydia finished with a laugh.  “Let’s try picking up the pace.” </p><p>She followed through on what she’d just said, speeding up the dildo’s movements.  Allison’s eyes were shut again; her hands had returned to her breasts and were caressing them in time to Lydia’s thrusts. </p><p>Allison stopped biting her lip and parted them as her breathing deepened, and Lydia thought she might be getting closer.  Her next thrust in was a bit more forceful, and Allison gasped.  Before she could ask, Allison said, “Oh, I liked that!”</p><p>As Lydia switched to repeating that motion exclusively, she the signs of Allison’s approaching orgasm:  she was panting for breath and shudders visibly moved through her body.</p><p>Allison slid her hands down her body as she muttered, “I have to.”  They slid underneath the waistband of her sleep shorts, and Lydia stopped moving the dildo for a moment, not wanting to crush her fingers as they touched her clit, until she gasped out, “Don’t stop!”</p><p>So Lydia started moving the toy again, angling back a bit so that there would be more room for Allison’s fingers when the base pressed against her body.  She could tell that those fingers must be moving frantically, and a moment later Allison orgasmed, letting out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a cry as her body shook with the force of it.  Lydia continued to move the toy until Allison’s body relaxed as she let out a sigh.</p><p>“Wow.  That was- wow!”  She let out a little laugh, sounding incredulous.</p><p>“See?  There’s nothing wrong with you.  You’re a completely normal young woman, having a normal reaction when you’re allowed the proper buildup.”</p><p>Allison’s eyes opened and she smiled up at Lydia.  “Thanks for this, really.  I know it was awkward and weird for you, but I’m just so relieved!”</p><p>Lydia smiled back.  “Happy to help.  Um, I’m going to take this out now, OK?”  When Allison nodded she removed the toy slowly, and then she scooted down the bed around Allison’s legs so that she could drop off the edge.  “I’m just going to go wash this again for you.  How are you feeling?  Do you want to watch the rest of the movie or are you ready to turn in?”</p><p>Allison drawled, “I feel so relaxed.  Seriously, I think I could sleep right here.”</p><p>As Lydia walked to the bathroom she said, “Well, you can if you want, it is a guest room after all.  You might be more comfortable under the covers, though.”</p><p>By the time she returned to the bedroom, Allison was curled up asleep under the comforter.  Lydia slipped the toy into Allison’s duffle bag, opened the bedroom door so she’d have a little light from the hallway, and then turned off the lamp before tiptoeing out of the guest room.</p><p>She contemplated going to bed herself for a moment but remembered the way they’d left the downstairs mid-movie.  She did detour into her room to grab the rum so she could return it to the liquor cabinet.  A quick sweep of the living room and she’d shut off the movie, put their cups and plates in the kitchen sink, and packaged up the remaining snacks.  Satisfied that there was nothing to make her mom cranky when she returned home tomorrow morning, Lydia shut off the lights behind herself and returned to her bedroom.</p><p>Lying in the dark, she felt restless and unable to settle down for the night.  Of course, she knew what would help her relax…</p><p>Giving in to the inevitable, she leaned over, opened the bottom drawer of her nightstand, and dug through the tights she stored there to find her favorite toy.  She grabbed a condom from the top drawer and was able to roll it onto the vibrator by feel in the dark.</p><p>She wiggled her sleep shorts down to her ankles underneath the covers.  Normally, she’d slide the length of the toy from her entrance to her clit as foreplay, but that didn’t seem necessary tonight—she was already wet and borderline desperate to feel the toy inside herself.</p><p>She pushed the toy in as quickly as she could while still taking care not to hurt herself, and set a steady pace, leaving the vibrator off as what she really wanted was that feeling of friction.  Her mind was blank, though, empty of the usual fantasies about Jackson or her favorite actor or pop star of the moment.  Her thoughts drifted back to her own early experimentation with toys.  Like Allison, she hadn’t been sure that she liked it, at first, because she hadn’t given herself enough time for foreplay.</p><p>Lydia thought of the relief on Allison’s face when she’d been able to take the entire toy without pain and remembered feeling something similar after some not-so-great experiences with those first few fumbling partners.  There was something freeing about being able to just enjoy every moment without having to worry about a partner’s impatience.  Speeding up, slowing down, and changing the angle as the whim took her.</p><p>And like Allison, she quickly reached a point where she couldn’t resist touching her clit as well.  She almost wished their roles were reversed so that someone else could take over the toy and give her two hands free.  That thought turned her on even more—she shut her eyes and imagined someone using the toy on her, watching her closely to judge what was too much, or not enough.  The sounds she made, the hardness of her nipples visible through the thin knit of her tank top…unlike the showy moans she’d perform for a partner, her gasps for breath as she wound herself higher were real, and necessary.</p><p>Her hands moved frantically as she reached her peak, and as she came she imagined an amorphous <em>someone</em> watching, and being pleased for her like she’d been for Allison.</p><p>As she came down and her hands stilled, she shook her head at herself—that was the most intense orgasm she’d had in a while, with or without a partner.  She hadn’t known she had a secret exhibitionist fantasy buried in her subconscious…</p><p>But really, that hadn’t been about exhibitionism; that had been about feeling cared for.  Clearly, she was feeling neglected and needed to get Jackson to pay attention to her.  As Lydia dragged herself out of bed and into her bathroom to wash her toy and get rid of the condom, she started formulating a plan to get Jackson to focus on their relationship despite the gearing up for the beginning of Lacrosse season.  Maybe she’d take Allison to the mall tomorrow and they’d grab some new lingerie to knock their respective guys’ socks off.</p><p>Satisfied with her plan, she relaxed back into bed with a smile on her face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title is from "New Emotion" by The Aces - that album is pretty much the soundtrack for this series.  I've just started on a sequel and have other ideas in this universe, so I would suggest subscribing to the series if you want updates.  I'm also sovvannight on twitter and tumblr, and I post updates there as well.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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